Thoughts...Not Poetry...We Belong...In the Past

Where have you left me now?
Molding me while I was unaware
Where am I now?
After all these years
Suppressed Memories
Scars feel fresh
Fingers on my neck...

How have you been?
"We belong, we belong, we belong together..."
Ringing in my head
Memories...

Driving your mom's car, you quizzing on the mix tape playing in the tape deck...
Us locked in a bathroom
Me screaming
Your fist to my face...
"We belong, we belong together..." ringing in my head.
All the time I spent defending you
All the time you spent defeating me and calling it love...Was it?
In some twisted way, did you really love me?
In some twisted way I believe you did.

I cry for what I lost
I cry for what I gained
Innocence was drowned in a pool of misery
Water running through emotion
"My pain is self chosen"
My heart just might still be broken...

Hands touching while singing along
Eddie Vedder is the soundtrack to those forgotten years
I can't listen to "Black" without getting chills up my spine
"We belong, we belong..."
For the first time today
"I know you'll have a beautiful life.  I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky
But why, why, why can't it be oh can't it be miiiiine..."
Meant something different to me...

My life is under a different sky...

What have you done to me?
I thought I had let this, you, go many, many years ago...
God knows how many journals are covered in tears that you caused.

"We belong, we belong..."
For some reason it hurts today just the same as that day...

If I had some way of contacting you, would I?
That song always did make me reach out to you.
Fuck!  I couldn't even listen to it for years after...

Today, on this particularly low Tuesday... I let you back in.
I suppose it was bound to happen eventually
things like that don't stay buried forever.

"We belong, we belong together together together"

And you made it so.
So that for the rest of my life----you'll always have a piece of it.




Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.