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Ashley Van Schaeffer©

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Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.©

Monday, December 19, 2016

Traveled Roads

Who am I?
I ask myself
As if I desire the answer.
Diving deeper
I only discover more questions
More darkness
More struggle
The knots are tighter
The air is thicker
I can hear voices
But can find no faces
I am alone
Perhaps this is how it's done?
If you want to find answers
There is only one
And I know this.
Which is why the daily dose of temptations
Baffles me at times
How is it that I am not stronger?
I seek
Yet I choose wrong---Sometimes...
Is that it?
Is that the teacher?
That cannot be the only route.
Although, it is the road I know best.
I've walked it
Driven on it
Fuck, I've crawled on my hands and knees
Begging to Jesus on Pain's Road.
It is my companion
And maybe that is the problem
This is a solo journey.
I've gotten so used to having
I don't know any other way.

And perhaps that is the point.

My internal GPS needs re-routed.
Pain's Road is a cul de sac.
Life's Road leads somewhere

So, who am I?
I guess I'm someone who desires more
Knows there's more...

But how?
Let the journey begin...
Destination: Unknown


Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Sun Chaser

Run, run, run
What do you have
That could make me stay?
Could you offer up something
I've never seen?
Could you be the water
That washes
Finally making me clean?
Cause my past is dirty
And colored with desire
Hands on flesh
Palms on Fire
Breath sometimes comes baited.
What's the question
You really want to ask?
Don't be afraid.
Fear makes my opinion plummet
Take a chance
Win or lose
Learn from it.
So you ready to run?
Not so much
To far away
Sun Chaser
Can't make me stay

Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

I'm Wearing An Apron

I want to be the kind of person that bakes cookies for guests and my nieces and nephews.
I want to be the one that gives knowledgeable advice without preaching.
Knowledge about music, art, poetry, the earth, organic food and how to nourish yourself, spirituality, know the words to funny movies, quote philosophers
and have my own words on paper...
I want to be good.
I want to be authentic.
I want to be free.
Freedom from pain, iv's, bad thoughts, insomnia, pain (I said it twice because it's ever present), hospitals...
I want to be me.
I want freedom from whatever has inhabited my body and taken my soul hostage.
I want to bake non-gmo cookies for friends wearing my grandmother's blue flowers apron.

Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.