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Ashley Van Schaeffer©

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009


combat insomnia
combat Crohn's
fight that alarm clock
beg to be alone.

all the bickering, fighting
just want to lye in peace
maybe get some sleep.


how far can it run
i guess there is no end.


find a center
my center
third eye
say goodbye to uncertainty.

trust thyself
listen to Mother Nature's rhythm
after all,
Mother knows best!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Shade Tree

The attraction of a single goal

I will it so!

Under the shade of my tree

I revel in the grass

The salty air

I'm home.

Feeling solid,




All the curtains dance in the breeze

I'm walking through doors

I never knew existed.

It's Amazing!

I close my eyes and listen.


My soul is speaking

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Where I'm At?

I'm where the line between frustration and disappointment
Is blurred
I'm where contentment and yearning
Meet at the precisely
The same spot.
Where the present
Lives in the past
And the future
Is all too confusing.
Where distance is too much
And puts you out of touch,
Even though you are always in contact.
Where days and nights melt together
And schedules conflict
Where love is strong,
But sickness apparent.
Where the sun shines in my dreams
And I worry where I'll be
If I don't change direction.
I'm where I need to be
If I talk to certain people.
I'm where I'm stuck,
To those in a rut.
I'm the strength to the meek
Solid to the sketchy
Shaken to the core
Constantly wanting more.
Happy in the moment,
But wishing moments,
Would add up to answers
To what I'm suppossed to do.
Like something that
Will just hit me
An answer, or,
An epiphany
Nothing just falls into you lap...

Or does it?

I'm where I hope
It plops onto my head or into my head,

I'm where I want to know the answers
I want a future that is bright
Follow my passion,
I want it now!

Friday, December 18, 2009


A Fantasy?
Was I searching for a fantasy?
Did I dwell too long on a dream
Did I run toward something unseen?
Did I?
Did I really do anything?

Is it a fantasy?

Life shows itself to me from different
Like water running
That defines and contours rock
Even a solid can change...
With time.

My sign is a sign of strength
My hollow shell disagrees
Somewhere inside my soul lives that dream
That fantasy
Will not die
It changes with time
Growing stronger
Each night I embrace it in my sleep.
My sign is water
I will meander around this rock
Until I change it!

A fantasy?
A dream?
A reality?
I will
I will
I will...

untitled 3

Quiet evening
Somewhat freeing
Thoughts of you
Walk and breathe
Look to the sky
Painted red
And over joyed
Color everywhere
Felt inside
Closing eyes
Swaying thighs
Stopping time
Introspective silence
Clean break from the past
Wanting more
More than that
Happiness outside this wall
Risking a fall
A heartbreak
A chance to take
And lose control

Thursday, December 17, 2009

H.O.M.E. ?

on a dark airplane I sit
going "home"
wherever that is?
splits in two
somewhere down the coast
the saltwater caused it to heal.
got a plan to make
gotta write it down
like animation
wanna bring it to life.
airline service
to snack and water
drink it down
in case of emergency
the asile is lighted
with arrows
pointing where to go.