Crohn's Sucks

Grasp the sides of my sink
Close my eyes,
And with the breath of my being
Comes the tears.
As they fall down the drain
I lean in and
Loom at the watery
baby blues...

When will this end???
I simply, have had enough.
I say aloud "I'm fine."
Trying to convince myself that
tomorrow the medicine will work
Tomorrow, I'll be all better, not bitter
And laugh with a full smile
Without fear and the
Secret sadness I carry in my heart.
Tomorrow I won't feel any pain
And forget for just a second
that I should be feeling better by now.
Tomorrow, I will feel like myself again.

Another deep breath and
I can literally taste the hope
filling my lungs.
It's going to be OK.
It has to...




Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Retrospective Desire

Felt the breeze blow
Turned my head to look back
I swear I saw you, I swear.

You were giving me that deep stare
Eyes almost golden
and scented with Jameson.
For just a moment,
I felt that connection
we used to share.
Deep like the red painted walls
Cracked like the molding
Beautiful imperfection...
Taunting you from across the room
The draw, the passion
The burning desire
Between thighs and dark colored sheets.
Raw and unrequited
Beautiful estrangement.
Keep walking forward...

It wasn't you.



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

magic

I keep getting a picture in my
mind of a rug being rattled
and dust floating magically
into the air.
Slow motion...
Almost dream-like.

Inside that dust, stories, laughter and secrets lye.

Without knowing it, I guess
I've been investigating...

When the memory fails you...

Sometimes you can hear a
child crying in the basement.
Or maybe, It's just the dust
telling stories of all the
backsides blackened
and blue eyes reddened?

This dust is funny, I swear it.
It blows about all through the house now.
It's giving sickness to younger generations.

Why?

Allergies, a reaction to the environment.
The pain in the dust is spreading...

It makes some remember
others forced to forget.
A more cynical person might say
You get what you deserve.
But who decides?
It doesn't land evenly or equally.
After all, nothing about it said fair.
It's dirty and can blind the eyes
Muffle the senses
and put a blanket on the soul.
It clogs and restricts the heart.

When the memory fails you...

There are secrets roaming
and floating around this house.
Not everyone wants to know,
and some,
have no choice to forget...



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Blue Light

The sun shines on my spirit.
I am guided.
Reminded to have faith
I have found freedom
You remind me of the good.
I see it in your eyes
The way you look at me,
it's better than before
It's better than ever.

The beach at twilight
The blue glow of the sky
Reflecting off the slow moving waves
I found love.
As we experience our lives together
The sun shines on my spirit.



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

no title

I create
that's what I do
I divulge onto paper
rehash the rage
I create
breath
mindfulness
must remember
I can create
that's what makes me tick
turns my clock
Kinda wish this would stop
then I remember,
I create
my space
resonate
look around
and draw it in
I create
self made.



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Souls Connect

souls connect.
watch like I am a child again
became a mother again
reminded of why I must continue
on my own journey.
never stop searching, wandering.
my belief in my self must get
stronger, deeper.
remember I can...

Find peace
let the tranquility
run through my veins
and ignite my passion
let it sing from within
guide me.
Flow like the ocean
that now surrounds me
gather my strength from above
learn from my love that has moved on...remember him.
let the love penetrate
souls connect.
like electricity in my fingertips
compels me to move this pen
allows me to be who I am
searcher with a smile
partner with a deeper understanding
lucky.
my inner voice is loud
my fear is eliminated by desire
curiosity reigns
souls connect



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.

Dutch

When he came down to visit
we went to breakfast on the water.
He placed his silverware in perfect
proportion with the table's edge.
Coffee, a few creamers
He always told me stories of his childhood...
He was devious
Always in trouble
A ladies man
An artist
Businessman
Entrepreneur.
Cigarettes, just like in the old days
The smoke would loom and groove
adding to his demeanour, smooth, hip, slick

He had a deep laugh.
Most of the things I would say made him giggle.
The times had changed so much between our youths.
In his time the women wore white gloves and red lipstick
to the market.
I admired him.
He intrigued me with his lifetimes lived...
Almost 93
Loved for eternity
My Grampy.

I miss you.



Experience. Freedom. Love. Now.